Funny Thoughts on New Halloween Costumes-Party

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It's that time of the year and bad taste and tacky outfits are all the rage again. Some people just don't seem to learn. You only have to look at the disasters from last year to see where even our much admired celebrities missed the plot completely.

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For a start, consider the context of where you are about to inflict yourself on your fellow man and women. If you are restricting yourself to your own home then the sky's the limit. If your nearest and dearest are the only ones who are going to see you then by all means be as daring and adventurous as you wish. If you are willing to throw your name and your marriage away in the pursuit of the perfect outfit, then by all means go right ahead. What we are concerned with here are those of you who are considering wondering out into the open.

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In the same way that people stop and stare at strange exhibits in a museum or carnival, if you miss the boat, they're going to stop and stare at you. If they're strangers you can probably get away before the cops come to cart you away, but what if those people are your in-laws, colleagues, peers and neighbours? Come Monday morning, when the paint has dried, the vomit has been washed away and you've managed to remove your boss's hands from your butt, you have a problem.

Funny Thoughts on New Halloween Costumes-Party

Your name, together with your career or relationship could very well be a thing of the past. The outfit that seemed such a great idea is now just a distant unpleasant memory and you are left picking up the pieces. What is it about Halloween that turns normally quite responsible people a little mad?

Consider the fact that Halloween costumes have been getting raunchier and raunchier each year. It's not enough to be a vampire; you have to be a vampire with very revealing clothing, even if you wear a size 18. No matter how you slice it, that outfit is going to fail. Have a close look at what's on offer for this year at the stores. Nothing is too revealing or too short.

Consider the "Cowardly Lion" outfit. You get a micro-mini skirt and fur leg warmers. This is great for home wear with hubby, but do you really want your colleagues at work coming over all Tin Man? Or how's this, "Mile High Captain" with the plunging deep V-neck pilot's uniform. If you're off to a pub or club then it's going to get pretty chilly in this one.

For the guys, the chance to make a complete ass of yourself is almost unlimited. How about the "Breathalyzer Test" costume where you dress up in a box with a hose strategically placed at crotch level for testing. That's sure going to go down well in accounts. Or for the more adventurous gent, the "Longuini and Meatballs" outfit with strategic placement of meatballs and large sausage on your apron.

The depths to which the marketers will stoop in their efforts to lower your bad taste levels are almost non-existent. Sexy has become trashy and breaking down the bad taste boundaries is encouraged all round.

So break out those 4" high heels and ripped skirt and find something that is anatomically correct and cucumber shaped and head off to the party. Try not to be too original as one chap who decided to go as "Cinema Carpet". All it took was a black shirt, black pants, some glue and lots of popcorn, sweet wrappers and a few pieces of chewing gum. Low cost, low rent and entertaining as hell.

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